Smile at the world to hide your pain
by torinokomachi
Summary: Smile, even if it hurts. Things will get better in time. That's what mom always taught her and she took it to heart. But sometimes, she wished she could admit that some things are too hard to hide. (Warnings: Implied Bullying in background. Mostly following Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Moon is named Ailey from the Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon promotional names.)


When she was young and still in Kanto, she was very expressive.

She expressed happiness at simple things that made her happy and also express her displeasure and sadness at things didn't like.

Unfortunately, the children in her neighborhood didn't share her exact belief that you should express yourself free. And since she is often too honest and very expressive, it made lies and secrets being exposed very easily, and then she was shunned for being who she is. A honest and expressive person.

So she cried. "Why does everyone hate being able to express themselves freely?"

Mom answers. "Some people have things they wanted to hide Ailey. And often, not the good kind."

But mom also comforts her by saying. "Just smile Ailey. Even if it's hard, things will get better in time."

She took it to heart, and it works like a charm. All the meanies stopped being mean to her and she finds it easier smiling all the time since then.

Yet, the mean things that those mean people had done to her often made herself doubt and hurts her in private.

But she smiles, because mom says that things will get better. And she believes in it.

Even so, the box of painful things she kept close to her heart grow bigger and bigger in each time and sometimes, she wish she could admit that some things are too hard to bear, or hide.

* * *

Far later in time, mom finally decided to move to Alola and she felt as if there are some burdens being lifted. (Finally, she can be away from these mean people for so long)

And she find herself plunging in to Pokémon battling and other Pokémon related things, just so that she can forget all those things that happen in her childhood and be free.

But years of smiling make her quite inexpressive, smiling becomes a second nature.

Despite all that, she finds a friend in Hau, Lillie, and even Gladion, as grumpy as he is. Along with the trial captains and everyone she met in her journey.

However, the box of pain keeps growing in each time. (Everyone having a goal of their own while she hardly has a concrete goal it felt almost unfair as she grows to be a much better trainer than the others, all the fear she felt during all those fear inducing incidents-)

She keeps smiling and smiling but this mask she created is slowly chipping away from the pain being too overbearing in time.

It's to a point her starter Decidueye keeps close to her and often use his cape like wings to cover her whenever she is home like a protective security blanket, which she finds herself to like for the comfort.

Her Zoroark started to be out often and keep an illusion so no one outside of this little family of her and her Pokémon partners will worry about her.

Her Lycanroc had taken to let herself lie down near her and let her embrace the Wolf Pokémon while her remaining three, Vikavolt, Toxapex, and Noivern huddled near her whenever Lyrcanroc did so.

After seeing Lusamine enter the Ultra Worm hole with Guzma to try and defeat Necrozma, she felt like this mask she creates will break at any moment, so she took the chance of taking the rooms that Wicke had provided, so she can have a chance of privacy and so she can reassemble this slowly crumbling mask.

Unfortunately, fate doesn't share her sentiments. Something she found out as Gladion visited her assigned room a little after they settled for the rooms they were given. Her Zoroark putting up an illusion to keep herself from breaking.

"Are you really alright?" He ask.

She wonders. "What are you talking about?"

He can only frown. "I don't think you are. I know you got a Zoroark and I know my own Zoroark enough to recognize the illusions. Would you mind dropping this charade?"

"NO!" She shouts, her Zoroark stopping the illusion at the surprise of her outburst and now here she is, showing how vulnerable she was after all that happened earlier. Decidueye moved and stayed close while glaring at Gladion, instinctively protecting her.

All while she murmurs, a nervous, stiff, broken smile at her lips. "I'm smiling aren't I? I'll be alright because I smiled, right?"

She murmurs more about being fine until she belatedly realize the hands at her shoulders.

It wasn't Decidueye's wings nor was it Zoroark or any of her Pokémon's touch, it was Gladion's, she thinks as she found herself seeing his emerald eyes. Decidueye must have let him approach her when she was murmuring earlier.

"I know we're not exactly friends... but you can't stay like this forever."

Just like that, the box of pain opens up and she cried for the first time in years.

* * *

By the time she woke, she find herself back in the room with her Pokémon looking at her with relief. Her Zoroark used his abilities of illusion to re-create the scene after she started crying.

Gladion tried to comfort her but unable to because he doesn't know what to do but embrace her, then Hau arrives and questions Gladion about her state and him stating his honesty of the whole thing, Hau helping him out in comforting her while her Pokémon kept watch.

She returns her Pokémon while thanking them for helping and prepares herself to leave. Until she saw Hau and Gladion standing in front of the room.

They probably want to know why and how she was so vulnerable yesterday after all that.

And she eventually admits. It's been her way to cope with pain for years, following her mother's words.

Hau smiles and spoke as she finished. "It's fine Ailey! We all had those days we just want to hide everything, but even then, it's fine to be sad just because you're sad."

Gladion nods in agreement.

She couldn't help but laugh. Just a little. "Thank you."

* * *

She didn't get to tell Lillie about all this yet. She couldn't find the right timing to tell Lillie about it.

Gladion wonders. "You're not telling her?"

She shook her head. Not the right timing at the moment, just when Lillie seems to be getting determined.

"Not now, maybe some other time."

She eventually confessed about it to Lillie during the boat trip to Poni Island.

She still smiled at the face of the events of to come, but she felt free and much better, now that the burden is all gone.

* * *

 **On my Ultra Sun Playthrough at the moment with Ailey's team based on my own, if I have to be frank, this is my personal view to why the protagonist is all smiley regardless of situation. Despite this little thing being USUM centric, I think it also applies to the original games too.**

 **I figure that I might as well write this out for a bit.**

 **See you next time and thank you for reading.**

 **\- torinokomachi**


End file.
